thoughts.dreams.ideas.wordvomit.

Sorry I am lame, and waited over a month to write another post. I mean, I only had one more person nag me about not writing, but it was enough motivation to make me write another post.

Life has been great this summer. Busy, but great. Been working more at legal, which is nice, because that brings in the money. Connect group is incredible. Couldn’t have asked for any other amazing people to share life with every Tuesday evening. And of course, there’s Summit. My internship has been such a huge blessing. A blessing that is so overwhelming that I haven’t been able to sit down and comprehend all the great things that have come from it. For example, today was an all-staff meeting and we all had to go around and say what God is currently teaching us. Shoot. I could’ve talked for a long time (and poor Kailey gets to hear me word vomit every Wednesday about that…) but I kept it simple for everyone else. The first thing I said though was that my cup is overwhelming.

Now, let me go on a side note please, because Psalm 23 is wonderful, and quite possibly my favorite Psalm, mainly, because I had to memorize it as a kindergardener. AND last summer in SL, this sassy girl, Adamsay, repeated the chapter back to me without even looking at it! So great. Anyways, I heard the meaning behind verse 5 - ‘my cup overflows’ from a sermon: Apparentally, back in Bible times, when people had company over they would prepare them a table with yummy food and a cup of some drank. They’d talk, chit chat, catch up on how their donkeys were doing, or if the local shop had a sale on new sandals. The usual. Well, after some time, it was up to the host if they wanted to further on the great conversation or kick them out so they could go to bed. They would do this by filling up their glass. If they filled it up half way, it was a clear sign that they wanted to rap up the convo, but if the glass was full, then rock on. Keep the par-tay going. Well, in Psalm 23, we see how David’s heart feels when He is with Jesus. His heart is overflowing.

Man, what a thought. Jesus wants to spend time with us. He never gets bored with us. He WANTS us to talk to Him. Not out of obligation or shame or guilt, but because He cares for us and loves us and wants nothing but the best for us. Good stuff.

Well, on a side note. I’m re-learning how to play my ukulele. I’ll keep you posted on that process ;-)

For the past few months, I feel like I have experienced so many emotions. So many thoughts. Good and bad. So many thoughts about “what’s next?” As a Christian, I felt like I always had to put on a good front, happy smile, and lie through my teeth - “oh ya know…I don’t really know what I am doing yet, but I know God is gonna control everything.” Even though there was partial truth in that statement, I still struggled with 100% believing in those words.

 ’everything will be ok.’

I mean…we always say that…but do we honestly, whole-heartedly believe it? God calls us to not worry about anything. ANYTHING. I mean in proverbs 12:25 is says “an anxious heart wares a man down…” and boy was my heart worn down this semester. Between family, friends, jobs, money, gas prices, grades, graduation, wanting to stay in orlando, internships, and other miscellaneous items…my heart was being town. and worn.

then graduation happened.

and life got better.

seriously.

Whoever tells you that they miss school and all that jazz after college is just lying to you. Because it’s fabulous.

Okay, okay…I am sure there will be times where I will want to learn and write papers, but as of now…I am enjoying it.

Life has been good this past week. Well, God has been good. As always. But you know how people always say stuff like “gosh, when i get married - i’ll be happy” or “when i get a job, than i could travel more.” And to myself, I would always think that people that thought these things were in a sorry position because they are losing out on the here and now. And maybe they become stagnant and hopeless.

I felt that way this semester. I felt that after college - I will get started on ‘life.’ Things will get better. Granted, I feel like things have gotten better, but what I realized was that sometimes it helps when God does something good to boost your motivation.

This past week, I found out I got a position at my church that I did not think I would get. Needless to say, I was pretty surprised. excited. thrilled. and happy. You see. I was stagnant. I was living in this idea that ‘maybe down the road’ things will look brighter. But for now, things are lame. God knew my heart was worn down. That I was beginning to lose the tread on my tires. Like always, God knows just when and what to do to keep us going.

If God has done something small for you. or big. and spontaneous…even though nothing is spontaneous with Him. Thank Him. Let Him know you care and that you are so completely thankful for knowing what’s best for us. And for not letting us run the show. He knows that we need a little boost in our self-esteem sometime to keep us going. Don’t lose sight. Look for the small blessings in life.

Wow. sorry for my word vomit. I need to get better at this blog thing. Have a lovely monday.

Finally! A blog from Africa! The internet is extremely slow and rare here in Sierra Leone, but each of the interns is getting a chance to get on once. Woohoo! Where to begin…First of all, I would like to say thank you to all of you! The letters have been beyond helpful and knowing that I have people praying for me is so comforting.   The other interns constantly tell me how great of friends and family I have. I’ve always known that ;-)

Let’s see – as far as day to day tasks – the list is endless.  I have taken over 40 bucket baths. It is not a matter of if I’ll get dirty each day, it is a matter of when I’ll get dirty each day.  I go to my assigned village, Monicawe, 4 times a week – where there is a little boy who screams everytime I come because he’s scared of white people, and it also where I have been attending church for the past six weeks (in a hut). I’ve tutored some children English, which has been frustrating. I have walked through rivers, have canoed in a really old wooden boat, and have gotten many uses from my new rain jacket.  I have also had the chance to watch 4 World Cup games! Even when the US lost to Ghana – biggest walk of shame in my entire life…. I have been working at camp for the past two weeks, with over 400 children.  I have not gotten seriously sick, but I have had fungus crap growing on my arm, it’s sick.  Summit team came in this past weekend!! Jamie gave me tons and tons of cheez-its, oreos, and m&m’s. Praise Jesus.

It sure has been quite a rollercoaster of events and emotions.  I have experienced pure happiness,  joy, and love.  I have also seen evil and darkness.  As dark as SL is spiritually, God proves Himself faithful everyday.  He’s in the hearts of these children – their smiles and dimples, their laughter and energy, and my personal favourite – their hugs.  I could hug these children forever and never get tired of it.  I have seen poverty and a countless number of naked babies.  Yet, my favorite thing has been going to my village church every Sunday.  These people who live in huts and live off one meal a day (if it’s a good day) praise Jesus and sing praises to Him with smiling faces and hands lifted high. They give tithing money each week as well.

We only have 9 more days here at COTN, and around 13 until I reach Jax. I’m getting homesick, yet my heart literally aches thinking about having to say goodbye to these children.  I have had many verses that have been encouraging throughout these past few weeks, but Hebrews 12:2a has been the main one – Let us fix our eyes on Jesus. End of story.

Thank you again for all the prayers! I think about all of you all the time.  Be praying for COTN and the children. God is doing awesome and mighty things here. Be praying for my team – that we have the motivation and energy to finish our work here. I love and miss you all!

made it to london! i’m in europe! bah i’m so bummed i can’t go exploring in the city. that’d be great. flights have been good so far. kind of. my flight from jax to dc was delayed about 45 minutes which gave me about 30 minutes to literally speed walk (occasionally a light run) across the airport to catch my flight. i could not fall asleep for the life of me on the way here. i was so jealous because the lady next to me had the window so she could lean against it - she was definitely out the whole flight. i had a chance to sit and think about a lot of things. like is this really happening? is this a dream? but it’s real. and i’m excited. me and the lady next to me started talking about our final destinations. she’s going to cyprus for a month. and i told her about sl. she was like ‘woooow’ it was great. she seemed so interested. i think God allowed that convo to happen to give me more peace and reaffirm why i am going. for Him. and for His children.

welp. i have 5 hours til my flight for africa. i’ll be in africa in like 10 hours! cha ching.

ahhhh!!! after all these years. after so many closed doors. God has brought me to this day. i woke up this morning and just sat there. i felt so at peace and just filled with excitement knowing that this was in His plan. what a wonderful feeling - being in His will. 

welp. i’m going to go blow dry my hair for the last time and go get ready. ha. flight leaves in about 4 hours. i will try to get on the internet in london. and hopefully in sl. thanks again for all the prayers. 

hey hey. life’s been crazy. it’s been so wonderful spending time with friends and family. been very refreshing and very needed. i know God is going to do big things this summer…not just in Africa, but in so many people’s lives. He already has been doing great things. nothing new.

so. i leave in 5 days. but i found out yesterday that my team is all leaving in 6 days. my team leader called me to tell me the news that there was a mix-up when ordering the tickets and i’m the lucky dog who gets to arrive to africa first. hmm- flying to london by myself, yea, i can do that. fly to sierra leone by myself, yea… i can do that? hehe. God is funny sometimes. even though my mom didn’t think it was so funny. but we talked it out, and it’ll be fine. my other intern leader is driving into freetown, sl a day early to pick me up. so a positive thing is that i’ll get to hang out in freetown for a full day. that’s pretty swell. my intern leaders are wonderful and i can’t wait to meet them in person.

yea, that’s the latest news. satan’s a jerk. but i’m gonna show him what’s up. “if God is for us, who can ever be against us?” rom 8:31.

thanks for all the love and support. God knew i needed all of you during this time, and i’m beyond blessed. i will be thinking of you all this summer, and hope that you will get to experience God in a new light ;-)

Thanks again for all of you who are partnering with me as I get ready to go to Sierra Leone. It has been so humbling to see friends and family support me financially and through prayer. God is so good and so loving. I leave in 10 days. What?? I’m sure June 14th will get here closer than I think. It won’t hit me that I’m going there…until I’m there.